What do you do when you like somebody, you tell them, and they send you mixed messages in return?

Hi Naomy,

You are learning a
valuable bit of information here...relationships stink!  Okay, that might be a bit
dramatic, but the same forces that make love wonderful are the same ones that make it a
real pain in the keester.

There are lots of possible
explanations for your beau's behavior, so I'll just pick a couple out to blow hot air
about:

1. At your age (and I mean that with respect...not
in a"talking down to" kind of way) young men and women are just starting to get an idea
of what they want out of a "significant other."  It may be that he is still trying to
figure that out and isn't sure if you fit the bill or
not.

2. He probably has little experience with real
relationships and is still figuring out how to act...he will learn this by watching the
behaviors of the people he cares about.  For example, if he does "like you" and he isn't
acting the right way, you're counter-behaviors will give him a clue that he needs to act
differently or risk losing you.

3. He may be a jerk and
might be amusing himself with your affections.

4. Because
you care about him, you probably have a heightened sensitivity to what he
says/does/doesn't do.  You, too, are also learning about the subtle clues of how a
relationship works.  It may be that you are misreading his cues because you care enough
to try to figure them out.

5. Boys, traditionally, mature
more slowly than girls.  If it makes you feel any better, he might be just as confused
about your relationship (or the possibility of a relationship) as you
are.

6.  Boys that age are generally morons.  Men my age
are generally morons.  In fact, guys are pretty dumb when it comes to relationships all
around.

From my perspective, the important thing is the be
honest and assertive about what you want from a relationship while still maintaining
your dignity.  If you don't understand his behavior, ask him directly.  That might seem
a bit forward, but if you do it in a "non-clingy, non-psycho, non-stalker" way there is
no better way to get the answers you are looking
for.

Whatever you do, remember to be yourself.  Be
confident and don't cheapen your worth by chasing someone around who "runs hot and
cold."  Boys like girls that present an obtainable challenge and who take pride in
themselves.  Girls who are too compromising and eager to please (though it runs contrary
to logic) do not earn respect and are not valued  (other than by weirdo, control
freaks.)

Good luck to you.  You are at an exciting age, and
in some ways, I really envy you.  Every door is open and everything is still a
possibility.  Don't sell yourself short.