Saturday, December 29, 2012

I am having trouble finding a boyfriend. What should I do?I want a boy that is friendly, nice, loyal, and that is not a bully.

Stop looking and start taking a good look at who you are
and who you want to become; please spend some time on this.  Because in doing this he
will come to you rather than you finding him or at least it will be a mutual thing.  If
you allow him to start looking for you, someone who is a deep thinker and more of a
human being than a human doer.  You will be happy you did, unless you want to simply go
through the motions.  I admire you for asking the
question.


Here are a couple of books that will help you
along the way:


The Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet, by
Benjamin Huff spent 46 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List when they debuted in
1992.  It is a two volume set at about 240 paperback pages each.  I just love the way
that Pooh and Huff exchange their thoughts about Taoism.  This is a very easy read that
sheds some light on being while along the way it teaches Taoism, what some call the Way
of Nature.  No need to worry, it is not to replace your faith, but add dimension to
yourself.


The other is a book called Being and Caring. 
This one is a college level psychology book, but it was so good, I purchased it and have
always kept it near just in case I find myself Caring too much for someone that I lose
track of who I am and the importance of my own healthy self
esteem. 


So what I am saying is in your freshman year in
college is if you take the time to spend on yourself and your own healthy self-esteem;
growing more into yourself that soon, you won't be looking for a boyfriend, he will be
looking for you.  You will have developed into a woman with more substance and with
healthy boundaries.  This is so important to learn now instead of by default,
later.


If I could have read one book or met one person
before I became an adult, it would have been Virginia Satir.  A loving woman, she wrote
many books on psychological matters, primarily family systems theory and books on
self-esteem.  She died the year after she wrote my favorite book, "The
Newpeoplemaking".  She had grown up in some tough times where there was a lot of family
dysfunction and so had I, but she had a way of learning how to deal with it and live
past it, that it actually became a virtue of who I am today.  I hope that you will at
least have a look at her book.  It's an easy read with cartoons, I laughed and then I
cried but when I was done, I knew more about who I was and from where I had come and now
where I could go; there was no longer any fear, false expectations appearing real.  I
began diving with sharks and traveling to many untraveled places.  I hope she does this
for you too.  And like I said, it's more important to be wanted than to want someone
else. 


I wish you well and more importantly I wish you a
college career that helps you reach past your fears and into places you never dreamed
you'd have the opportunities to explore.

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