In Ancient Greece, their cultural norms are vastly different from our own. Odysseus demands that Penelope stay faithful for twenty years while he's off making love with beautiful goddesses like Calypso and Circe and he wasn't an unwilling prisoner/lover either. Women were viewed differently when this story was first orated. They were possession who were to do what they were told, they were to be faithful, they were to bear children (heirs). That's not to say they didn't love each other, but he never had a second thought about what he did because he was the king and it wasn't really cheating on his part because this was their cultural norm, which is why he never feels guilty over what he's done.
Odysseus is a warrior and warriors kill people. He didn't need to justify killing in the midst of battle. Even when he was killing the suitors, to him this was seen as a battlefield and he was defending his wife, his son, and his kingdom.
His biggest lie was his beggar disguise. He was warned by Athena that if he entered Ithaca straight away he, his family, and his kingdom might face trouble so we can see why he held this lie up, he also wanted to know if Penelope had stayed faithful.
Stealing to Odysseus was seen as collecting the spoils of battle. When he stole Polyphemus' sheep he was of the mind that he was owed because Polyphemus had eaten six of Odysseus' men. He saw it as "an eye for an eye" most literally.
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